Rankin' on Hidan
by MistyxKisame
Summary: Same as title...Hidan gets made fun of. Mainly HidaLee with other pairings on the side. Includes Mpreg because what's a yaoi fanfic without pregnant ukes? Rating may be bumped up if anyone wants any Lemons (please PM me or just review).
1. Chapter 1:Itachi tells Hidan off

Summary: Itachi is tired of Hidan's loud mouth, so decides to let him have it.

Itachi groaned as he had to listen to Hidan go on and on about how bad his cooking was. He had always been a quiet man and only spoke when he wanted to, which was not now, and Hidan was getting on his last nerves.

"Why don't you shut up, you welfare bum!" Itachi snapped throwing a hot frying pan that still had a bit of pancake batter in it.

"Watch where you're throwing things, Itachi!" Itachi had almost hit Kisame instead of Hidan.

"Sorry, I was trying to hit MR-HIGH-AND-MIGHTY-JUST-BECAUSE-HE'S-IMMORATAL, over there." Itachi went and got the frying pan.

"I don't know what your problem is Uchiha, but for a bitch of a woman, you cook like crap." Hidan smirked.

"You're one to talk! The only thing you do is sit on your fat lazy ass all day and do nothing, but worship that fake god of yours Jashit!"

"Oooooooooh, you just got buuuuuuurned!"Everybody in the kitchen, except Hidan and Itachi, burst out laughing like crazy.

"Well at least I have a girlfriend." Hidan glared back at Itachi.

"When did Jashit and you start dating?"

"Ooooooooohhhhhh…"everyone waited for Hidan to say something back.

"By the way, stop wearing your shirt open. The 70s look is gone, and it's not coming back."

"Ooooooh Nooooo! He did it again! He did it again!" Everyone was enjoying this so bad, everyone had popcorn buckets.

"You know" said Hidan. "Girls would actually like you if you'd stop acting like a big tub of shit."

"BOOOOO!" everyone said, cuz it was not funny.

Then someone in a deep voice shouted. "BOO! YOU STINK, YA BITCH! NOBODY LIKES YOU, YA MOTHERFUCKA!"

"WILL YOU ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP? AND WHEN DID YOU ALL GET HERE? AND I HEARD THAT TOBI!"

Please leave a comment and tell me how it was. I really want to know your opinions on it so I can start on another one similar to this one, but on someone. The whole akatsuki is in the kitchen, including Pein and Konan.


	2. Chapter 2:Stinky Hidan

Excuse the use of extentive use of the word "piss" please! Chapter 3 coming soon! I love all of the Akatsuki so leave me alone okay?

* * *

"Oh dear Jashin…save these heathens from a firey death in hell. Let your dark rage lighten them down, as if by the tiniest bit, so that they can see your glorifying light." Hidan was praying to his god Jashin when Kakuzu burst in the door.

"Hidan!"

"WHAT?"

"Hidan…" he growled slowly.

"Mother fuckin' what? Can't you see me praying?"

"I thought I told you…WHEN I COME BACK I DON'T WANT THIS ROOM SMELLING LIKE PISS!"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me! Our room has to be the most pissiest smelling room in the room at the base! Before you joined this room smelled like lavender! LAVENDAR HIDAN. LAV-EN-DAR…now it smells like piss! P-ISS! The other's rooms don't smell like that! Even Sasori doesn't smell like that and he's the mustiest bitch in the whole place! And that's really saying something! That thing is musty when he comes out of those puppets. I mean the guy even takes a bath and he STILL smells like a musty little pig. OINK OINK!"

"What does that have to do with me?" Hidan asked.

"Your so pissy, the air got stale!" Kakuzu had forgotten about Hidan until Hidan reminded him. "You're so pissy that you make a pissy diaper look dry! Your bed is so pissy that even the toilet couldn't take that much piss."

"Fine! I'll go get some air freshener and clean up!"

"Oh no no no! I'm not finished yet! You're so pissy that even Bear Grils wouldn't drink your piss. You're so pissy that a dog wouldn't piss on you. You're so pissy that even the dirt wouldn't want your piss. Your so pissy that if you were royalty, you would be called your pissiness! You're so pissy that your specialty is pissy steak, with piss fries, with a pissy shake, and pissy piss cola! You're so pissy that you're the only pissy reason piss exists in the land of pissyness!"

"Are you done yet?" asked Hidan.

"No…not yet…ahem…You're piss is so yellow I thought it was the sun! You're yellow piss is damn bright, when I walked in the bathroom it made me go 'DAMN! That's a bright ass sun!' then I realized nobody's piss could be that bright and yellow, so I said 'DAMN! That's some bright ass piss!' You're piss is so irregular that it has chunks in it! CHUNKS! You're so pissy that you can't tell lemonade from your own piss! You're so pissy that your own wounds don't smell like blood…it smells like utter piss! You're so pissy that you were conceived from pure piss radiated in the piss filled sewer! Phew! I'm done… "

Hidan just sat on the floor glaring. "Are you sure?"

"Ok…just on more…" Kakuzu cleared his throat. "Ahem…PISSY JACK!"

"YOU BITCH!" Hidan started chasing the older man with his scythe.

"Pissy Jack! Pissy titty! Pissy bird! Pissy cat! Pissy piñata! Pissy head!" Kakuzu yelled as Hidan chased him.

Pretty soon Pein, Konan, Tobi, and Deidara joined in.

"Captain Pissy!" yelled Konan.

"Super Piss!" said Tobi.

"Piss dynamite." Kakuzu said.

"Piss-o-matic!" said Pein.

"Pissy man!" Deidara said.

"Pissy ocean!"

"Pissy boy!"

"Pissy pisser!"

"Mega piss!"

"Hello Pissy!"

Sudddnly the group turned into Kisame and Itachi's room, the latter of who were in a corner hugging while a shower could be heard.

"What are you two doing?" asked Konan.

"Sasori…" Kisame whispered.

"Musty boy?"

"Mr. Musty-no-justu?"

"Onion man?"

"Yes! How can something that'smade of wood smell so…so…"

"Sweaty?"

"Oniony?"

"Cheesy?"

"Stinky?"

"Yeah! It's retared!"

"I know yeah!" said Deidara. "Sasori needs to wipe under those arms!"

"No, what that guy needs is some deodorant!" said Tobi.

"Maybe some arm and hammer also…" said Itachi.

"That guy is so musty, when I asked him to put on some deodorant, he said never heard of it." said Konan.

"That bitch is so dirty, when I asked him to take a bath, he just splashed water on his face." Kakuzu said as seriously as possible, though it was extremely funny.

"Sasori is so dirty, when I tossed him some dry soap, it burned him!" Kisame said.

"Sasori is so musty that he doesn't need poison…ALL HE NEEDS TO DO IS LIFT HIS ARMS!" everybody laughed at Pein's joke.

Suddenly, a wild Sasori appeared! Everybody TRIED to keep a perfect poker face, but failed when a strong aroma of dog shit and horse shit mixed with the most musty smell you can think of with a sprinkle of onions. It was the worst smell yet!

"What?" said Sasori who was wearing nothing but a towel around his waist and neck.

"Hey Sasori!" everybody said.

"Have a nice **BATH**?" Konan said stretching the word bath.

"With lots of **SOAP** and **WATER**?" Deidara put in.

"And the **PUTTING** on of **LOTS** of **DEODORANT**?" said Itachi who was holding his nose.

"And maybe some **ARM AND HAMMER**?" Pein said.

"What?"

"Nothing…" said everyone in unison.

"Oooookaaaaay…"

Suddenly Sasori lifted up his arms to wipe off his hair and everyone's turned as if they had been punched. It suddenly smelt like shitty cheese. Suddenly a wild Hidan appeared and started slashing everywhere in anger. Accidently Hidan slashed away Sasori's towel from around his waist making it come off. The funk was so bad everybody was thrown into the wall! It smelled like every kind of shit, shitty cheese, and sardines possible! And to top it all off…IT SMELLED LIKE UTTER PISS TOO!

"MY EYES!" everyone ran out of the room while Sasori ran to his room.


	3. Chapter 3:Lee

After a training session with Zetsu, Hidan was extremely tired.

"As always I come out on top!" Hidan bragged.

"Yeah right…" Zetsu rolled his eyes. Suddenly Hidan raised his arms to stretch and a strong aroma hit Zetsu's nose…and almost tore it off.

"GOOD LORD! What is that unholy smell?" Zetsu looked at Hidan "Put those funky thing down! Phew-wee! What done crawled under your arms and died? DAMN! Did you put on some deodorant or sardines, 'cuz you smell like SHIT! UGH! Bitch you need to put on some arm and hammer!"

Hidan just stood there.

"Bitch I'm for real! You're the funkiest thing in the woods! SHIT SMELLS BETTER THAN YOU!" Zetsu squinted. "…and is that…OH GOD! Is that a wet rat? No, THAT'S PIT HAIR!"

Hidan slapped his arms down.

"SHAVE THAT FOREST BEFORE I DO!"

Two hours later

Hidan was in the woods looking for someone that could be bullied by the rest of the akatsuki instead of himself. Suddenly he saw a sleeping boy. He looked him over.

'Damn that's a tight ass suit…and its green! But he is cute…where'd that come from?'

Grabbing him, Hidan dragged the boy off to the base and then into his room. He tried to toss the boy in his bed but missed and he hit the wall. He suddenly woke up and started having a panic attack.

"WHERE AM I? WHO ARE YOU? I GOTTA PEE! AAAAAAHHH!"

"Calm down kid!" the boy only screamed louder. "BITCH SHUT UP!" he did. "Good…my name is Hidan…"

"I'm RockLee…"

"Ok Lee…your my bitch now."

"But I don't…!"

Hidan grabbed Lee and led him into the kitchen where all of the akatsuki minus Kakuzu who went out for plastic and air fresher.

"Ahem…" Hidan was ignored. "I said AHEM MOTHERFUCKERS!"

"You didn't say anything!" said Itachi.

"Piss off!" Hidan started jerking his head towards Lee.

"Is there something wrong with your neck Hidan?' asked Konan

"No…" but he kept doing it.

"Well stop!" said Pein. "Its really annoying!"

"I think he wants us to look at his frog." said Sasori.

"Damn that's one big eyed mother fucker!" said Kisame,

"It's got ugly hair too!" said Deidara.

"Where'd you find it?" aked Sasori. "The sewer?"

"I think it's a cross breed…" said Itachi.

"Its looks like it belongs to a bull frog and a gay nerd!" said Pein.

"I'm not gay!" Lee pouted.

"IT EVEN SOUNDS GAY!"

"Oink! Oink!" said Tobi.

"Frogs don't oink Tobi." said Kisame.

"Squack?"

"Ribbit."

"No thanks!"

"What?"

"Can I go now?" asked Lee.

"Hell no!" said Hidan.

"Well its your pet, so you take care of it." Said Pein.

"Put that thing back in the swam where you found it! It's disgusting!" growled Zetsu.

"So are you!"

"Musty gay wet ass rat!"

"…"

"That's what I thought…"

"I wanna go home Hidan-sama!"

"See he wants to go home!"

"You understand frog?" said Tobi amazed.

"I gotta go…"

"Where?"

"No…I gotta go!"

"Fuckin' where?"

"I think he means the bathroom…" said Itachi.

"Then why's he dancing?" asked Hidan.

"Get him outta here!" said Pein. "He's gonna…"

Lee peed on himself.

"…pee…"

"What did you do that for?" yelled Hidan.

"I had to pee…"

"YOU PISSY ASS FAGGOT FROG SHIT! I HATE YOU! GO AWAY FOREVER AND NEVER COME BACK!" yelled Hidan.

"I'm sorry Hidan-sama…I didn't mean to!" Lee started to cry.

"No no no no NO! No crying!"

"WAAAAAAH!"

"SHIIIIIT!"

"Well we're outta here. Come on Kisame." Itachi and Kisame left.

"Us too." Zetsu, Deidara, and Sasori left also.

"I gotta go shit…" Peinleft

Konan looked at Hidan. "Are you gay?"

"NO!"

"Then why'd you bring him then?"

"'Cuz…I'm not pissy…"


	4. Chapter 4: Hidalee don't like don't read

Contains yaoi…Excuse me if this isn't funny…

After the previous month, Hidan had the responsibility of taking care of Rock Lee. Lee had somehow escaped and ran away, only to come back three minutes later, thanks to Tobi. Hidan had threatened to stab Lee and hand him over to Jashin, but somehow his threats never came through thanks to Hidan's last piece of sanity everyone thought he lost…that and he had fallen head over heels in love with Lee. How you ask? Because he's crazy…and bisexual even though he had never kissed or made love with a man or woman in his entire life (unless you count those Hidan x Kakuzu and Hidan x OC pairings).

"Too bad Lee has to stay in a cage under my bed…" Hidan sighed as he prepared to sacrifice two random idiot girls to Jashin. "Well at least he won't know I stroke to his sleeping noises…"

"HAHAHAHA! OH MY GODS! YOU'RE GAY!" laughed the girl he was about to sacrifice.

"I DO NOT OWN GREEN PANTIES! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT THEY'RE RED!"

"YOU CROSS-DRESS?! WHAT A FAG!" both girls started to laugh.

"WE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT PANTIES!" they laughed harder.

"THAT'S IT!" before Hidan could kill them in the most evilest, violent, and horrible way ever, Tobi's retarded ass dropped a banana peel and Hidan slipped. As for the scythe…well…it got his…yeah…that's right…the unmentionables…aka the thigh…right ABOVE the unmentionables…

"AAAAAAAH! MY ALMOST UNMENTIONABLES!" Hidan cried out.

"What's wrong Hidan-sama?" Hidan's nose turned into a blood foundation. Lee was wearing a tight black French maid suit that was ALMOST a little too small.

"Your boyfriend just got stabbed in the thigh…HA!"

"Lee…" whispered Hidan.

"Yes Hidan-sama?" Lee got down beside bleeding Hidan.

"Carry me to the bed…"

"Ok…" Lee put him on the bed.

"Lean your ear down to my mouth…"

"Uh…ok…" Hidan whispered something naughty into his ear. "A-are you sure?"

"Yesssss…"

"W-w-with them right here?"

"Yesssss…"

"If you're sure…"

"Yesssss…now or would you like me hurt?"

"Ok…"

The two girls then witnessed the most eye popping graphic porno that was Hidalee…not KakuHida…or NejiLee…or GaiLee…or Sasulee…

Meanwhile Tobi, Konan, Kakuzu, Zetsu, and Kisame were on their way to take a shower, when they heard grunts, moans, groans, barfing, crying, and two rats humping in the wall.

"I wonder who Mr. Frog is torturing now…" said Konan.

"That was lame…" said Zetsu.

"Whatever…"

"Tobi wants it to stop!" whimpered Tobi hugging Kisame.

"Is that rat humping I hear? Damn…that's my ultimate fetish!" said Kisame.

"REALLY?!" Tobi was topless.

"He said rat humping not half naked lollipop." said Kakuzu.

"Well duh! Tobi's trying to take advantage of it!"

"Well…I am hungry for something sweet…" Kisame said ignoring Tobi who, upon hearing this, was wearing nothing but his boxers.

"Tobi, why are you flexing?" asked Konan.

"Tobi doesn't know what you're talking about!" Tobi started to flex his buns and now DBZish muscles.

"Damn Tobi you're huge!" commented Kisame.

"Really?!" Tobi blushed.

"YEAH...! Go lose some weight…" Tobi pouted and put back on his clothes.


	5. Possible lemon? Maybe

Hidan moaned as he awakened from his deep Jashin filled sleep. His eyes widened as Lee moved a little beside him. He blushed after remembering his night with the young sexy ninja. The two had been together as a sort of slave and master relationship (What did you expect?) for almost three months. Lee blushed in his sleep and purred softly as Hidan cuddled with him in the bed.

"Hey, are us gonna let us go or fuck with him again?" asked the captives from the last chapter.

Hidan glared at the first captive female (yeah they've been there since the last chapter…he likes an audience). "Unless you want a kunai up your ass and your heart as my condom, I'd run like a bitch."

"Are you fuckin' blind?! We're tied up!" said the second girl.

"Master?" Lee woke up.

Hidan hugged Lee. "Yeah?"

"You smell like…well never mind…" Lee frowned slightly.

"Like what?"

"Nothing…" Lee got out of bed. "Do you want something to eat, master?"

"No." Hidan smiled at Lee's school girl outfit. 'I'm glad that I picked that outfit for him…So damn sexy I just wanna…'

"Master?"

"Hm?"

"Is it alright if I go back to Konoha?" Lee made a puppy face. "I really have to feed my kitty cat…"

"Of course you can suck my dick, sweety!" Hidan said not at all paying attention to what Lee said.

"W-what?" Lee watched as Hidan started kissing him. "No, I said is it alright if I go to Konoha to feed my cat?"

"Oh right…" Hidan glared at the two female captives. "FUCK YOU TWO!"

Meanwhile…

"TOBI GET YOUR NASTY ASS OFF OF THE DAMN TABLE!" yelled Deidara at a naked Tobi. Tobi was lying on a huge metal serving plate with a huge piece of lettuce on top of his genitals, two small tomatoes glued on his nipples, and lite candles surrounded him, with two small rats all dressed up at a doll's tables wondering what the fuck was going on.

"I can't!" Tobi whined. "Tobi's horny! See!?" Tobi held up his huge lettuce piece.

"Gross!" Deidara threw up. "That's just messed up!"

"Good morning…WHAT THE FUCK?!" Konan had just walked into the kitchen to cook breakfast and had saw Tobi. "Tobi put some damn clothes on!"

"MY EYES!" Zetsu covered up his eyes. "**_It burns! Aaaaah!"_**

"What's up mother fu…" Hidan stopped talking. "What the holy jashin fuck is going on here?"

"Tobi-sempai probably wants some attention." said Lee still clinging to Hidan.

"I'm starving! What's for break-…" Kisame stopped talking as he saw a naked seductive looking Tobi. "What the fuck…why is Tobi naked?"

"Because…" Tobi was back on the plate in a flash. "…I'm for breakfast…come and take your vitamins fishy…Plenty of **_MEAT _**here! Sooo much jiggly fat meat!"

Here Tobi wiggled his hips.

"I also baked you some desert filled with cream and…uh…delicious butt-crack?" Kisame gave Tobi a weird look. Without thinking, Tobi grabbed Kisame's bulge. "Well that ain't gonna fit!"

Itachi started beating Tobi over the head with a frying pan. Tobi squeaked in pain. Kisame was harder than a rock and ran out of the room to go jack off. Konan fell over when Kisame ran by her and accidently brushed up against Hidan's crotch. Hidan got horny and started getting hornier by the second. Lee was trying to take care of a hurt Deidara (Itachi missed one time and hit him), when Hidan grabbed Lee and dragged him to the room…and the rest is history.

If you want this story to be rated M with lots of sex scenes and yaoi goodness, either PM me or review this story (I rather you PM me). Sorry if this chapter wasn't that funny or had too many sexual situations (like a naked Tobi). Remember review and like! If you have any story requests (none with OCs please) or any new ideas for this story, please let me know. Thanks for reading!


	6. Pregnant semes & Naruto & Kakashi visit

"Master…I have something to tell you…" Lee was blushing in his cat outfit.

"What is it sexy?" asked Hidan.

"I…I…" Lee blushed and looked away.

"COME BACK HERE!" Hidan and Lee turned their heads as Konan was running away from Pein.

"I'm sorry Pain!" Konan was stilling running from Pain, who was wielding a spatula and waving it in the air like the nut that he is.

"Well that was fuckin' random…"

"I'm pregnant with another man's baby!" Lee squeaked. "I'm so sorry Hidan-sempai…I tried to get it out but it hurt!"

"WHAT?!" Hidan stared at Lee in horror.

"Time for a meeting." Pain growled as he came out of nowhere dragging a whining and begging Konan.

Once all of the members were in the meeting room, Pain dropped the ultimate. "Who is this organization is pregnant?"

Shamelessly, Kisame, Orochimaru, Lee, Konan, Kakuzu, and Zetsu raised their hands.

"Holy crap…" Pain was stunned. "Kisame? Kakuzu? Zetsu? I knew Konan was pregnant and I knew Hidan was fuckin' his frog thingy, but the rest of you? Wow! Just fuckin' wow! Especially you Orochimaru! How the fuck did you get in and how did you get pregnant?"

"Don't ask!" said the snake.

"Holy shit, he knows!" Naruto tried to get up and fell out of the closet with Kakashi.

"What the fuck?" Kakashi looked around. "You **_did_** know where the akatsuki hideout was! Damn! And I thought you were just plain flat out retarded!"

"Lee!" Naruto tried to grab Rock Lee, but tripped over nothing. "Lee! We need you to come back! We love you! And…"

"HOLY SHIT!" Kakashi wrinkled his nose. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL? IT SMELLS LIKE MIGHT GAI'S SHIT ON TUESDAY WHEN WE HAVE SCAT SEX! UGH!"

"GAY!" said a random gray seal named Ernie.

"That smell would be Sasori…" said Itachi. "And secondly…how did you to get in here anyway?"

"When you all were on missions, we snuck in and raped Lee in his sleep!" Naruto said proudly.

"So let me get this straight…" Pain was just as lost as the rest. "You snuck in here…and when we weren't even talking about you…you just willingly pop up?"

"Yeah!" suddenly he realized his mistake. "Oh shit…"

"Deidara fucked me in the ass." said Kakuzu.

"Well Tobi raped me." Kisame said bored.

"Me…you…outside…**_now_**…" Itachi said glaring at Tobi.

Tobi pouted and went inside with Itachi.

"How did you get pregnant Orochimaru?" asked Konan.

"I'm tired of being ignored!" Naruto screamed at the top of his lungs. "I'M THE FATHER OF LEE'S BABY!"

"How?" Lee asked.

"I fucked you every time that bastard (*points at Hidan*) left!"

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Hidan pulled out his scythe and the battle began.


	7. It was all just a dream

"HIDAN, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Hidan had just awakened from yet another nightmare by Kakuzu's loud voice. "For fuck's sake, can't you learn to keep your screaming to a minimum? You already smell like utter pissy shit."

"Shut up, ass wipe." Hidan sighed. "I was just thinking about something…"

"About how much you stink?"

"No shit face…" Hidan sighed. "Is it possible for a man to get…well you know…"

"No, I don't know, now go to sleep." the older male turned his back to his partner.

"So you've never seen a pregnant man before."

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Tobi laughed from beneath Hidan's bed.

"TOBI YOU LITTLE SHIT! GET YOUR MONKEY ASS FROM UNDER THERE!" Hidan grabbed Tobi by his hair. "GET FROM UNDER MY BED!"

"**_Heheh…Hidan has been having wet dreams about a Konoha ninja_**." Zetsu snickered. "Must be nice dreaming about little boys, eh Orochimaru?"

"Shut your face, you freak!" Hidan yelled at Zetsu.

"Is Hidan sad?" Tobi asked.

"No, but Hidan is pissed you little monkey black turd faggot nugget with shit sprinkles on top of shitty piss wipes!" Hidan slapped Tobi, but somehow missed and hit himself.

"HAHAHA!" Tobi laughed and ran off.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGH!" the immortal screamed, waking up everyone in the neighborhood and even beyond that.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, HIDAN!" yelled Sasori. "YOU ALREADY STINK!"

"YEAH!" Deidara joined in. "I CAN SMELL YOUR NASTY BREATH FROM HERE! AND WE'RE THREE DOORS DOWN!"

"EAT A BREATH MINT, FUNKY!" yelled Kisame.

"YOU SMELL LIKE SHIT!" yelled Konan

"YOU SMELL LIKE CUNT JUICE!" yelled Zetsu (who was still in the room by the way).

"You're smell hurts my eyes." said Itachi. "MY EYES!"

Everyone joined in on the bashing until a thunderous booming voice said, "WILL YOU ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP? YOU ALL STINK LIKE SHIT. KONAN YOU ACT AS IF YOU SMELL LIKE SWEET ROSES. GIRL PLEASE! YOUR PUSSY ALREADY LOOKS LIKE A SOUR GRAPE!"

"HA!" laughed Tobi.

"TOBI SHUT THE FUCK UP! WHILE YOU'RE LAUGHING, YOU AIN'T THE SWEETEST ROSE IN THE ORCHARD EITHER. I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT YOU EAT YOUR OWN SHIT AND PISS IN ITACHI'S COFFEE IN THE MORNING YOU LITTLE FAGGOT."

Itachi could heard saying, "WHAT?!"

"SPEAKING OF COFFEE, ITACHI CUMS IN YOUR COFFEE KISAME."

"WHA- Actually I'm fine with that…"

"GAY!" said a gray seal named Ernie.

"ERNIE YOU BITCH."

"Hm…" Ernie left.

"ZETSU GET OUT OF KAKUZU AND HIDAN'S ROOM. I KNOW YOU MASTURABATE IN THERE! KAKUZU…WELL I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT YOU OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT YOU SPERM ON MONEY. DEIDARA YOU LOOK LIKE A LESBIAN TRANNY AND SASORI YOU SURELY DON'T HAVE ROOM TO TALK AND WE ALL KNOW WHY. NOW ALL OF YOU STOP PICKING ON THE IMMORTAL SHIT AND GO TO FUCKIN' SLEEP! YOU CAN DO THAT IN THE MORNING!"

All of the akatsuki could be heard mumbling, but went to sleep. Hidan wasn't sure whether to thank him or kill him.


	8. Continue?

I'm not really sure if I should continue this story. If any of you do think I should, please let me know if it is worth continuing, otherwise I will either be giving it away or deleting it. In the meantime I will be working on Pein x Konan, Kisame x Itachi, Sasori x Orochimaru, and whatever Naruto pairing besides NaruSasu pops into my head. I've never really worked on NaruSasu before and I don't really want to, so don't ask.


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